Feeling Reflective

With the break in our reading in lieu of the midterm, some of the themes in the texts have had time to simmer in my brain and be applied to my life, particularly from "Hills Like White Elephants" and "The Pomegranate."

In "Hills Like White Elephants," for pages a couple is speaking without actually communicating.  Neither of them actually say what they are feeling, but rather mask their opinion for fear of the other's response.  Their conversation is light and ambiguous while the topic they are discussing is in all actuality dark and weighty.  This has caused me to evaluate my the communication in my own relationships.  Do I speak without actually communicating? Am I too passive-agressive to actually say something?  I think that lack of true communication stems from fear of vulnerability and intimacy, rooted in insecurity and a lack of self-confidence.  Today I am challenging myself to strive for honest communication.  For too long my voice has been muted by the fear that others will not want to hear what it has to say.  Honesty, even when uncomfortable, is the foundation for healthy and fulfilling relationships in life.  Yet it takes courage and discipline to develop this.

In "The Pomegranate, " the mother says (in reference to her daughter), "If I defer the grief, I will diminish the gift."  She wishes that she could protect her daughter, and keep her from all trouble.  But it is in the things that bring pain that lessons are learned.  Suffering is, at times, a gift.  I need to remind myself this.  The turmoil that I am experiencing, the unstable foundation that my life seems to currently be standing on, is molding me, shaping me, and beautifully teaching me life.  The restless nights from schoolwork, job-work, and serving others are worth it.  The reward will not come now.  Today's grief will usher in tomorrow's gift.

A Dream Deferred

Two years ago I took a road trip with my brothers.  We departed from our home in Pennsylvania and ended our journey here in Lakeland.  Our trip was loud and filled with laughter and memories as we stopped in various cities we had mapped out in our planning.  But there was one place amidst the noise of our adventure that is distinguished in my mind by its moving silence.  We were in Memphis, Tennessee standing outside the Lorraine Motel, eyes locked on the balcony where Martin Luther King, Jr was assassinated some 41 years earlier.  The silence lingered as there were no words fitting to express the overwhelming emotion.  How does the life of a man with such compassion, such dreams, and such passionate pursuit of justice be brought to such a tragic end?  How could so much hate collide with such immense love at one moment?  It was a time where injustice festered in America; all value was stripped away from a portion of humanity.  In an instant, a dream was seemingly shattered.  What then?  Langston Hughes writes:



What happens to a dream deferred?Does it dry up
like A RAISIN IN THE SUN?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.Or does it explode?

The day before his death, Martin Luther King, Jr delivered a speech in which he said, "I've looked over, and I've seen the promised land.  I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land.  So I'm happy tonight.  I'm not worried about anything.  I'm not fearing any man."  His dream was fulfilled long after his life was ended.  His vision of justice manifested itself long after that day in 1968.  I believe that there is strength in dreams.  I believe that there is power in a vision for the future.  I believe that justice is possible.  I believe that "injustice everywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."  I believe that justice is possible today, even in our world immersed in child prostitution, poverty,  and war, where human lives are bought and sold, where hatred runs rampant.  I believe that one day, through the actions of dreamers, value will be restored to humanity.